As temperatures begin to warm and we move from spring to
summer, we’re going to be reminded yet again that increased temperatures can cause
a number of changes in how we feel. People have even developed some pretty cool
descriptive language for some of its effects. Years ago when people were easily
angered they were said to be “running hot” or “hot under the collar”. If you
are a Hothead, Hot-tempered or Hot & Bothered you may be better off without
the company of others as you are already angry or easily angered.
On the flip side there are also some really positive things
associated with heat and more specifically seasonal change. While people in
northern climates might get a little angrier in the heat, they are also
emerging from the depressing funk of winter inactivity and hibernation inspired
sluggishness into the vibrant activity and positive energy of the spring and
summer seasons.
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| (From: https://www.clipartsgram.com/ anger-inside-out-clipart-34511) |
All of this to say that maybe now is a good time to talk
about managing all that heat and maybe some of that anger. While we all have
the occasional brush with anger and sometimes struggle to control what it makes
us feel like doing, there comes a point - and research tells us it’s relatively
early on - that anger becomes unhealthy.
Not only does anger put stress on the angry person but it
also puts stress on that person’s relationships. Uncontrolled anger can lead to
violence or other things that may have unintended and sometimes long-lasting consequences.
Unhealthy anger can also be a symptom of poor mental health and underlying
psychological conditions like PTSD or personality disorders.
While it is really important to
get professional help for any underlying cause of extreme anger there are a
number of techniques that you can use on your own to get some relief. Like
everyone else, I too have struggled at one time or another with my own anger. I
have had what I like to call “the opportunity” to practice a number of anger
management techniques.
My top five favourites (in no
particular order) would have to be; getting physically active, just getting
outdoors, using positive self-talk, challenging negative thinking and having
empathy for the other person.
Getting active not only helps you
take your mind off your anger but the increased blood circulation and deeper
breathing, along with the chemical changes that happen in your body with
exercise (like the release of endorphins), can really clear up your thinking
and improve your emotional state.
Getting outdoors and being active is a
positive “double whammy”. The fresh air and deep breathing really help release
tension and clear the head.
Positive self-talk is one of
things that feels silly at first but can also be really helpful. While I like
short easy statements like “I got this” there are countless examples of things
you can say (and think) to help you through those difficult moments. Experts
liken positive self-talk to self-programming and claim you can program your own
thinking and thereby change your perceptions and feelings. Some other helpful self-talk
statements might be; I’m making progress, I can handle this, I’ll get there, I’ve
made it through worse than this. Ultimately you need to find one or two that
work for you and use them regularly.
Similarly, when you challenge
negative thinking and turn things around with “goodfinding” (like it sounds –
finding the good in people or things) you can change how you feel - both in
that situation or about that challenging person.
The last of my favourite anger
management techniques is the one I also find to be the most difficult. Having
empathy for the other person. This applies to the specific situations where you
are angry with one particular person. If you are able to change your
perspective about the situation or the person you can free yourself from the
stuck thinking that has created your anger. The best way to do that is to
attempt to see things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to feel what
they might be feeling. We know (when we are thinking rationally) that others
are generally not 100% wrong and we’re not always 100% right. The other person
might be incorrect or misguided but that does not make them evil.
By: Michael Thiessen, grade 9 Guidance Counsellor
Need more? Check out the Anger
Management Resource website -http://www.angermanagementresource.com/anger-management-techniques.html
for their top ten recommended anger management techniques. Take the time to
find something that might work for you and put it into practice. Keep your cool
as the temperatures around you rise and have that chill summer you deserve even
at 30 above.
Other Resources:
Positive Self Talk
References:
Anderson, C. A. (1989).
Temperature and Aggression: Ubiquitous Effects of Heat on Occurrence of Human
Violence. Psychological Bulletin,
1989, Vol. 106, No. 1, 74-96.
Chemtob, C. M., Novaco, R. W., Hamada, R. S., (1997). Cognitive-Behavioral
Treatment for Severe Anger in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,
1997, Vol. 65, No. 1. 184-189.
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