Why I Choose to Wear a Poppy

Photo courtsey Royal Canadian Legion

I wear a poppy for a reason. It may be the same reason you do or it may be different. But for me it is a conscious choice. 

I have at times debated the wearing of a poppy. And at times I have chosen to wear the MCC peace button instead of the poppy. And I have friends who wear both the poppy and the button. 

Here is why I wear the poppy. I wear it out of respect for those who have fought in wars. Those soldiers carry their wounds with them - even once the fighting is done. I wear the poppy to honour them.

I wear the poppy for my uncle who fought on the beaches of Normandy and came home. He never talked about it. At least not that I heard. But it impacted his life. 

I wear the poppy for my cousin who served in the Canadian Armed Forces in the Infantry. 

I wear the poppy for my cousin who is American and fought in Desert Storm. 

I wear the poppy for my cousin's daughter who is a Corporal in the USA Marine Corps.

I wear the poppy for former students, who aren't much older than my current students, and chose to enlist in the Canadian Armed Forces to serve their country.

I also own the MCC peace button and I wear it. When I am wearing it, I am not meaning any disrespect to those who have fought and died so that I can have the freedoms I have. I am not trying to disrespect the Peace Keepers, Armed Forces or people at home that keep us safe. However, I believe in Peace. I grew up in a church and community that believed in, and continue to believe in, pacifism and peace. 

I wear the button for my uncle who during WWII was a conscientious objector and have to leave home and work for the government here at home.  Mennonite Conscientious Objectors 

http://natoassociation.ca/confusion-and-perplexity-the-complicated
-relationship-between-peacekeeping-and-peacemaking/

I wear the button for all the people working towards peace here at home and across the world.

I wear the button for those who are affected by war and need peace so desperately.

I wear the button for the refugees who have been unable to go home for years and years and truly need peace.

I wear the button for those around us who have never known peace. For those who have only known violence. For those who are crying out for peace.

I wear the button to remind myself that I am an instrument of peace and that I need to work towards peace in my community, in my province, in my country and in my world. 

I wear the button because it reminds me that even here at home in Manitoba, Canada we need to work towards peace and towards reconciliation. Not all of our battles have been fought on foreign soil. We have a history of violence to the First Nations, Indigenous, Metis, Inuit and many other immigrant groups.  We need peace here at home. And we need to works towards it. Truth and Reconciliation Calls to Action

So what about you? Why do you wear the poppy or the peace button? What does it mean to you? What does Remembrance Day mean to you? Have you thought about it? Or if you choose to not wear the poppy - Why? Why are you making that choice? 

Want to think some more on the poppy and why we wear it? Check out these links:

The Poppy: Symbol of Remembrance

Poppy & In Flanders Field

History of the Poppy - Canadian Legion

How to Wear a Poppy

And if you want to watch a few moving Remembrance Day Videos - check out the following.  There are so many more online.

Habit Forming

The school year is well underway and by this point you may have formed some habits already. Some of those habits are good. Some of those habits may be not so good or maybe even down right bad - if you are hoping to earn credits and move on in school.

Some of the good habits you may have already formed may include some or all of the following:

• showing up to class every day and on time
• doing your assignments
• handing in work on or before the deadline
• asking for help from your teacher when you don't understand
• asking for help from a classmate if you missed a class or don't understand
• talking to your guidance counsellor if there are issues with a class or issues outside of classes

Unfortunately, some of you have formed habits that, if they continue, will be the cause of you repeating a class or possibly even the whole semester. Some of this detrimental habits (meaning habits that are not going to be good for your success) include:

• skipping classes
• neglecting to do any work
• leaving things to the last minute and then not completing them
• pretending you understand everything and not asking for help
• causing distractions in class that prevent your own learning and the learning of others
• pretending "you got this" and not seeking support or help from friends, family, teachers or your guidance counsellor

Here is the good news.

1. If you are in the first group... YAY! 

You are on track to have a great school year! 

You are setting yourself up for success. 

Well done. Keep it up!

2. If you are in the second group... there still is Good NEWS...

It's not too late. We are just at the beginning of October. 

You can still turn this around.

Make a plan. 

Follow through on that plan.

Things to consider:

a. It's not too late to catch up. Don't plan on catching up all in one day. But plan on doing at least one or two assignments a day working towards catching up.

b. Talk to your teachers. Find out what is most important.Start there. 

c. Use your spares to catch up. Talk to friends. Enlist their help.

d. Form new habits. Start attending class. Ask for help. Do your work. 

e. Keep thinking positively. You can turn this year around. You can do it. Believe in yourself. 

f. You are in control of your mindset. Decide its worth it and make it work. 

Starting the Year off Right!

Sadly, Summer holidays have drawn to a close. However, the good news is that we have a new school year ahead of us full of opportunities. What is this year going to look like for you?
What are your goals? What will be your list of successes in June 2018? You need to plan for those now.

So how do you start the school year off well and in a way that is going to lead to success?



Here are some tips:

1. Look at your schedule carefully. Is it balanced? Do you have all the courses you need? Do you have courses that will challenge you? Are there courses that will broaden your mind, artistic ability, personal interests and leaves doors open for the future of possibilities?

2. Check out what is going on at the school. Get involved. Whether it's a sports team, games club, drama, art, volunteering for score keeping, helping out backstage for school productions, student council, social justice and human rights initiatives... it doesn't matter. GET INVOLVED. The more you put into school the more you get out of school. (and... it also looks great on your resume)

3. Show up. Every day. Every class. Start the year right. And continue well. Students who are in class everyday for every period do better. ( I know... It's SHOCKING). But honestly, you will make friends and acquaintances in class which helps not only with your sense of belonging... but also if you need someone with whom you can study or do homework or just hang out. It also makes it easier to get help from the teacher, know when things are due and how to complete the assignments successfully.


4. Do your work. On Time. Right from Day One. There is nothing worse than getting to a week away from the first report card and having 20 assignments overdue in each class. Want to avoid that? There is only one way. Do your work - right from the first day of classes. Don't fall behind. Then!!! You won't be overwhelmed a week before report cards go home.



5. Set Goals. Make a plan. Follow it. Make goals about academics, extra-curricular, jobs and even friendship. Then make your plan on how to achieve those goals. Then... follow through.

6.  Talk to your guidance counsellor. I am not just trying to drum up business for the guidance counsellors. If things aren't going well. If you just need to chat. If you want to know about post-secondary options. If you need help making a resume. If... the list goes on... Talk to your guidance counsellor. That's why we are here. School stuff. Home stuff. After you graduate stuff. We are here to talk and help you work through those things.

Of course there are many more things you can do. Here are some links to other articles with great tips. Check them out.

Tips for Students

More Tips For Students

Tips for Teens

And if you want to share this with your parents, here are tips for them.

Tips for Parents

101 Tips for Parents

More Tips for Parents

Summer Time - How to Make the Most of it!

What to do with two whole months of vacation? Great question!

Whether you have a summer job or not, there are things you can do to make your summer a great experience and have memories that last a life time.

Personally, my favourite thing to do in summer is to travel. However, I can't always afford it and I'm assuming you can't always travel either. So what are somethings you can do at home or locally over the summer?

Here are some of my favourite things to do if I'm spending a summer at home.

1. READ - read non-stop. Read a series from your favourite author. Try a new author. Try a new genre of books. Read outside. Read at the beach. Read indoors on a rainy day. Just enjoy the art of reading for FUN. Not for school. Not for work. Just for the love of reading.

  

The Forks

2. Pretend you are a visitor - take in the sights. Have you ever noticed that you only take in the local sights when you have visitors from out of town? Change that. Pretend you are visiting the area. What are the must see and must do items. Go do them. Have you been to The Mennonite Heritage Village in the last 5 years? If not, go! Have you been to The Forks? The Canadian Museum for Human Rights CMHR? The Manitoba Museum? (They have a new display of dinosaurs. Have you seen it?) Go to the zoo! Check out the Assiniboine Park. Have a picnic at the St. Malo Grotto Be a tourist at home. Go to St. Pierre Museum and Sugar Shack. Check out all the museums in the area Museums in Manitoba and maybe visit Lower Fort Garry - it's only an hour away.

CMHR

3. Find interesting things. For example, did you know that there is something called the Cinnamon Bun Trail here in Manitoba. Cinnamon Bun Trail Manitoba. Google top 10 bakeries in Manitoba or top 10 places for a burger in Manitoba. See what google gives you and then make a plan to visit those 10 places over the summer. 10 Ten Manitoba Sweet Spots. I recently found the top 10 places in Winnipeg for a sweet tooth. I am making that part of my summer plan list.





4. Have fun in the kitchen. Bake. Can. Make jam. Learn how to bake bread. These are fun things to do with your family or a group of friends. Isn't homemade strawberry jam the best jam ever? Go pick strawberries and make your own jam. It's easy. Even I can do it. So can you!

5. Volunteer somewhere  - even if it's just for one weekend, one day, or a few hours. Volunteer at a local fair (ie. Summer in the City) or at your church's kids club. Volunteer to babysit for a neighbour or to mow their lawn. Do something nice for your family, siblings, parents, grandparents or a family friend.

Caddy Lake

6. Go exploring. Go hiking. There are so many cool places to hike nearby including in the Sandy Lands and the Whiteshell. Whiteshell hiking trails. The fresh air and the exercise are good for you. (and for me too)

7. Take some time to relax. Don't go, go, go all the time. Sleep in if you can. Have a lazy day or two or three. Let your body and brain chill and rejuvenate.




8. Try a new hobby. Learn how to paint, knit, build or any thing else that catches your interest. I'm trying my hand at gardening. If all goes well, I'll have some fresh vegetables in the late summer or fall.


9. Spend quality time with those close to you. Play board games. Visit. Cook. Eat. Enjoy the simple things of life with your family or friends.

10. Come up with something on your own.

Take this list with a grain of salt. Take what you like. Leave what you don't. What ever you do - Be safe!

These are just somethings I like to do in the summer. They are not in any particular order. You may have your own list. Perhaps it would be good to make a list, add to it as you think of new things and check off the ones you do. Sometimes at the end of summer, we can forget all the great activities we did. Making a list or writing one as you go may help you appreciate what a great summer you have had or great moments. It can also help you feel grateful for all the important people in your life that have been a part of those memories. Take the time to enjoy the summer and then come back in September ready to take on a new school year.

Yes! You can Finish Strong - Repeat Performance

Yes! You can Finish Strong by Doing Well on Final Assessments.

I am stealing this blog from myself. Basically reprinting as is. Why? Because the same things that were true at the end of the first semester are true at the end of the school year.

So how do we help students prepare for the end of year assessments, whether they are exams, large projects, portfolios or tests of some sort? I don't believe there is one right way to do well on an exam or test. But, I do believe that there are things that we can all do to reduce our anxiety going into a final assessment that will set us up well for a positive result.

Some simple hints:

* plan ahead
     -  don't leave all the work or all of the studying for the night before - that's just too stressful even if you are doing well in a course

*break the work down into small chunks  
       - if you have a big exam with 6 units to cover, look at one unit a week or day for a few weeks or days prior to the exam
      - if you have a portfolio to put together - divide up the work, get one section done then start on the next

*take care of yourself

      - make sure you get enough sleep, eat properly and have some fun prior to the year end assessments and throughout as well
      - if you are hungry, tired or grumpy you won't retain as much when you study and you won't do as well on the final assessment

*plan study breaks
     - get up, stretch, shovel the driveway, play a game (one game- not 14 hours online) and then get back to studying

*complete your final assessment strategically
     - do the parts you know first, then go back for the ones you are not quite sure of, make educated guesses when all else fails
       - you can NOT get marks for things you don't answer - even if it is a complete guess you have more of a chance of getting something right with a guess than you ever will with no answer at all
      - remember - sometimes the test or exam itself may have information on it that will jog your memory or help you answer a question - so read the entire assessment

*do not give up
      - believe in yourself, try your best, make sure you think positively going in and realistically after you are done.

If you need more information on helping yourself, or your student, prepare for final assessments here are some links:

(Please note I have gone on to these websites. I have tried to pick links with good tips and as few advertisements as possible... but there will be some advertising... My apologies)

Teacher Vision - Test Taking Tips
Bright Education Study Tips
FastWeb 20 Study Tips

Last but not least: one video from Wellcast that may be helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPTh8OEBwEo

13 Reasons Why... My Take... and Some Resources for Parents and Teen

Let me start by saying I am not a psychologist. I am not a psychiatrist. I am not a doctor. But... I have been a teacher for 26 years. I have been a guidance counsellor for 3 years. I was a Vice-Principal for 8 years. I have taken my Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) twice. I have worked with students and adults who are contemplating suicide.

Recently, I watched the new, popular Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. I binged watched the first 6 episodes. Why? Because I had been in a car full of students and they were discussing it. They were talking about why people should watch it. They were also discussing why people should not watch it. It was an interesting discussion between male and female students from grades 10 -12. I was moved to, intrigued to, challenged to watch the series. It took me a couple of days to watch the last half of the series. Why? Because it was hard watching.

I am not sure that I am glad I watched the all 13 episodes. There are images in my head that I can NOT get out of my head. I don't want those images in my head. And I am concerned about students who have those images in their heads.

So, having said all that, it took me awhile to decide if I would blog about the series 13 Reasons Why. However, after reading about some of the concerns about the series and watching the news clips about it, I decided to share my thoughts. Take them for what they are worth.

This blog is for you... the parents... things you may want to know. And Teens - this is for you as you need to know there is help out there!!!

1. Students are watching this show and talking about it with their peers.The show - while fictional - discusses the suicide of a teenager and give the 13 reasons why she completes death by suicide.

2. This show is graphic. It is disturbing. It shows two rapes and a suicide. Graphically.

3. The school personnel in 13 Reasons Why do not respond the way they should. Teachers, Guidance Counsellors and Principals are trained to help in situations of bullying, reported assault and suicidal thoughts and disclosures. Watching the series, I cringed at all the things the adults in the school did poorly or flat out incorrectly (against best practice in these situations). Please know teachers, guidance counsellors and principals are here to help. 

4. It makes the viewer feel that in her death she is able to get revenge, get sympathy and possibly get some justice - THIS IS FICTION. Suicide does not get revenge. Suicide does not bring peace and justice to the person who is dead because that person is no longer alive.

5.Talking about suicide will not cause someone to commit suicide. However, a show like this, may be seen to romanticize suicide to some impressionable youth. It may seem like a good option for difficult situations. It may NOT be a good idea for someone who is already vulnerable to watch. Watching this series may be a trigger for youth because the rational part of their brain hasn't fully developed. They don't have the same reasoning ability as adults. They may not be able to work out the fiction from the reality or the untruths of what adults can and will do from the truth of what adults can and will do to help a struggling teen.

6. Teens are watching 13 Reasons Why.  So, you may want to watch it with your teenager. You may want to watch it alone first. You may want to have conversations with your child about the series, about suicide, about bullying, about rape and other things shown in the series. Just telling them NO, Don't watch it... May not prevent them from watching it at a friends.

7. There are resources available for parents - talking points for conversations with your child about this series. Contact your school guidance counsellor if you want those talking points.

8. Talk of suicide should always be taken seriously. There are many resources out there. Here are two... There are many more.

                                       Reason To Live


9. There is information and warnings in the news for parents about the Netflix series. It may be good to watch them. Here are some links.

The National - 13 Reasons Why - Warnings for Parents

CTV News - Warnings for Parents

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/13-things-parents-should-know-about-13-reasons-why-according-to-a-psychotherapis.html

10. There is a stabilization unit at Children's Hospital in Winnipeg if the threat of suicide is immediate. You can take your teen directly there if you are concerned for his or her safety. You can also call the Crisis Unit immediately or 911 for an ambulance. Help is available.

11. Talking with your child about suicide is not bad. It is not dangerous. Just because a student is talking about death by suicide - Does NOT mean that a teen wishes to die. If  a teen is talking to you. That is a good sign. It is a sign that they want help. It's a sign they trust you. Open communication is Good. Don't ignore it. Don't sweep it under the carpet. Take it seriously. Get help.

12. There are supports for students and parents. ASK. Contact your school guidance counsellor, pastor, youth leader, doctor, Southern Health South East Mental Health Resources, Bethesda Emergency Room, Kids Health Kids Health - Information for Teens, Kids Health - Parent Informationand many, many more resources online, in Steinbach and area and in Winnipeg.

13. And Finally - For Students and Parents. Don't confuse Fiction with Reality. Don't let the Netflix series be the only source of information about suicide, bullying and the bad things in the world. (or the good for that matter). Don't let media be your only resource. Seek reliable sources. Talk to your doctor.  Get Help.

Keeping your Cool in the Heat of the Moment!

As temperatures begin to warm and we move from spring to summer, we’re going to be reminded yet again that increased temperatures can cause a number of changes in how we feel. People have even developed some pretty cool descriptive language for some of its effects. Years ago when people were easily angered they were said to be “running hot” or “hot under the collar”. If you are a Hothead, Hot-tempered or Hot & Bothered you may be better off without the company of others as you are already angry or easily angered.

On the flip side there are also some really positive things associated with heat and more specifically seasonal change. While people in northern climates might get a little angrier in the heat, they are also emerging from the depressing funk of winter inactivity and hibernation inspired sluggishness into the vibrant activity and positive energy of the spring and summer seasons.

(From: https://www.clipartsgram.com/
anger-inside-out-clipart-34511)

All of this to say that maybe now is a good time to talk about managing all that heat and maybe some of that anger. While we all have the occasional brush with anger and sometimes struggle to control what it makes us feel like doing, there comes a point - and research tells us it’s relatively early on - that anger becomes unhealthy.

Not only does anger put stress on the angry person but it also puts stress on that person’s relationships. Uncontrolled anger can lead to violence or other things that may have unintended and sometimes long-lasting consequences. Unhealthy anger can also be a symptom of poor mental health and underlying psychological conditions like PTSD or personality disorders.

While it is really important to get professional help for any underlying cause of extreme anger there are a number of techniques that you can use on your own to get some relief. Like everyone else, I too have struggled at one time or another with my own anger. I have had what I like to call “the opportunity” to practice a number of anger management techniques.

My top five favourites (in no particular order) would have to be; getting physically active, just getting outdoors, using positive self-talk, challenging negative thinking and having empathy for the other person.

Getting active not only helps you take your mind off your anger but the increased blood circulation and deeper breathing, along with the chemical changes that happen in your body with exercise (like the release of endorphins), can really clear up your thinking and improve your emotional state. 

Getting outdoors and being active is a positive “double whammy”. The fresh air and deep breathing really help release tension and clear the head.

Positive self-talk is one of things that feels silly at first but can also be really helpful. While I like short easy statements like “I got this” there are countless examples of things you can say (and think) to help you through those difficult moments. Experts liken positive self-talk to self-programming and claim you can program your own thinking and thereby change your perceptions and feelings. Some other helpful self-talk statements might be; I’m making progress, I can handle this, I’ll get there, I’ve made it through worse than this. Ultimately you need to find one or two that work for you and use them regularly.

Similarly, when you challenge negative thinking and turn things around with “goodfinding” (like it sounds – finding the good in people or things) you can change how you feel - both in that situation or about that challenging person.

The last of my favourite anger management techniques is the one I also find to be the most difficult. Having empathy for the other person. This applies to the specific situations where you are angry with one particular person. If you are able to change your perspective about the situation or the person you can free yourself from the stuck thinking that has created your anger. The best way to do that is to attempt to see things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to feel what they might be feeling. We know (when we are thinking rationally) that others are generally not 100% wrong and we’re not always 100% right. The other person might be incorrect or misguided but that does not make them evil.

By: Michael Thiessen, grade 9 Guidance Counsellor

Need more? Check out the Anger Management Resource website -http://www.angermanagementresource.com/anger-management-techniques.html

for their top ten recommended anger management techniques. Take the time to find something that might work for you and put it into practice. Keep your cool as the temperatures around you rise and have that chill summer you deserve even at 30 above.

Other Resources:

Positive Self Talk

http://www.drjerm.com/Positive-Self-Talk/Positive-Self-Talk.php

http://joanswan.blogspot.ca/2011/02/positive-self-talk-examples.html

References:

Anderson, C. A.  (1989). Temperature and Aggression: Ubiquitous Effects of Heat on Occurrence of Human Violence. Psychological Bulletin, 1989, Vol. 106, No. 1, 74-96.

Chemtob, C. M., Novaco, R. W., Hamada, R. S., (1997). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Severe Anger in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 1997, Vol. 65, No. 1. 184-189.